Dive (5 minute post)

Dive

For today, you get to read an embarrassing story featuring....ME!  It was circa 1993 or so. I was swimming at my friend Katie Mill's pool.  It was a perfectly sunny day in Las Vegas.  Hot enough to fry an egg and then some.  I have never been a great swimmer. I have never been a good swimmer.  In short, I was very insecure about my swimming abilities.  Everyone was diving into the pool with ease and grace.  I swam around in the water, then decided I would attempt the dive.  I came to the side of the pool. I tried once. I failed.  I was too afraid to let my arms be my guide.  I tried again.  I was determined.  I held my arms above my head, prepared to dive in head first and imagined a graceful dolphinesque dive.  Slicing through the water with beauty and poise.  Instead, I pulled my arms in at the last second and smacked my head on the bottom of the pool with a resounding thud.  I can still feel that pain.  The pain of my head and the pain of my ego.  I came to the surface and I am not sure anybody saw, but I felt like the whole world did.  I felt the pain of adolescence.  The awkward feelings of failure and attempting again and still another failure.  I never attempted to dive again.  I am now 33 years old.  I can swim well.  I have taught my kids to swim.  I have swum in the ocean and lakes and deep water, in which I didn't know the depths.  But I have never tried to dive again.  I think this summer, I will have my daughter Hailey teach me.  She is 9 and has the confidence of an Olympic swimmer.  She can do every stroke with ease and seemingly no effort.  I will sidle up next to her on a sunny day and she will help me through my fear.  I am sure my first attempt will be a kneeling attempt, just as the teach the little kids.  But sometimes it takes the instruction meant for children to get adults over their fears.  And I am ok with that.