5 minute Friday with Kate Matoung
Why is it so hard sometimes to share how I am really feeling?
Someone will ask, “How are things going?”
And I’ll say, “Fine. Everything is good.”
Then, I’ll really think about it and say, “Hey, it’s not fine. My house is messy. My kids are crazy. My future is uncertain. We live far from our families. I need to eat healthier”
So, is that fine?
Is that ok?
Am I ok with the fact that my “fine” is just a regular day of regular thoughts and regular actions?
Am I fine with knowing that we are stable as a family but maybe not so stable in Iowa? At least for the long term?
Am I fine with knowing that we don’t know if we will have another baby or not?
Even as I type this, I am thinking, I can’t share this because then everyone will know how I am feeling and they will try to check in on me to make sure things are “fine”.
When really I just write what I feel better than I can think what I feel.
When I think about it, I go around in circles and end up nowhere.
When I write about it, I find an answer or at least a release and I also feel productive because
Hey, I just took 5 minutes out of my day to write.
So, write it out. Share it out. Or maybe don’t share it out, but at least my writing it, I am sharing with someone who really needs to figure out my feelings…
And that someone is me.