Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Share


5 minute Friday with Kate Matoung

Share

Why is it so hard sometimes to share how I am really feeling?

Someone will ask, “How are things going?”

And I’ll say, “Fine. Everything is good.”

Then, I’ll really think about it and say, “Hey, it’s not fine.  My house is messy. My kids are crazy.  My future is uncertain. We live far from our families.  I need to eat healthier” 

So, is that fine?

Is that ok?

Am I ok with the fact that my “fine” is just a regular day of regular thoughts and regular actions?

Am I fine with knowing that we are stable as a family but maybe not so stable in Iowa? At least for the long term?

Am I fine with knowing that we don’t know if we will have another baby or not? 

Even as I type this, I am thinking, I can’t share this because then everyone will know how I am feeling and they will try to check in on me to make sure things are “fine”.

When really I just write what I feel better than I can think what I feel.

When I think about it, I go around in circles and end up nowhere.

When I write about it, I find an answer or at least a release and I also feel productive because

Hey, I just took 5 minutes out of my day to write.

So, write it out. Share it out.  Or maybe don’t share it out, but at least my writing it, I am sharing with someone who really needs to figure out my feelings…

And that someone is me.
 

 

3 comments:

Laura H said...

I've been thinking about sharing lately too--what's too much, what's too little? So often I feel like--with the online world we're in--that people share more but no less about each other. At least I feel that way, I guess.

Totally different idea--when you're sharing your thoughts and feelings (the stuff you're afraid to share), what's the ideal response from others?

Heather said...

Laura, You know, I guess I don't want any response! I think I just need a sounding board sometimes without a solution. I come up with a lot of my solutions through writing and talking so maybe that's why I like writing?
And I agree with you. Real life just isn't real unless it's face to face or on the phone, in my opinion. I think we have a skewed view of each other bc there is so much social online stuff.

Hall Family in MD said...

I am normally an oversharer by nature, but find it hard to be honest about how I am really doing more often than not. Visiting from FMF. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

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