Send (5 minute friday)

Write with us over at Five Minute Friday at Kate Motaung's blog.  You won't be sad you started.

 

 

Send

Send me the words and inspiration because I am feeling quite lacking today.

I sit here in Panera with a hot chocolate and a thought of a pastry and a list of writing ideas I have had over the months. 

But the desire is lacking.

Maybe it’s the lack of time.  Maybe it’s the sameness of ideas.  Maybe it’s the knowledge that I only have until Panera closing time.

Of course I can write at home. Of course I can carve out the time.  Get the kids busy with an activity and write through their fighting or laughing or creating. 

But the thought of knowing that I might never get through the list of ideas.

That the ideas keep coming is overwhelming and a blessing.

How do I do each idea justice?

How do I keep myself geared up to spill the words out until this screen, onto the page without restraint and second thought to what it sounds like, what will come out, what people will think.

Just jump in?  Do five minutes a day.  Which could turn into 10 or 20 or 30 and pretty soon I am on a writing streak.  I did have a writing streak a few months ago.

Then I think of the “to do’s” at home that are nice to accomplish but don’t give me the feeling of satisfaction that creating does.

So, I say, send me the words.  Send me the prose.  Send me the poems.  The ones that make my heart sing.

The ones that create a picture, an emotion, an effect that can change my life or other’s lives.

That my kids can look back and read, that my grandkids can look back and read.

That maybe they will get a glimpse into life as a mom

Or life as  writer

Or life as a wife

Or an Iowan

Or a Las Vegas girl

Or a chocolate lover.

Send me the word that will speak my soul

To their souls.

Went into the kid's room last week in the morning and was greeted by this icy sunset. 

Prepare (five minute prompt)

Preparing food is one of my things.  It's one of my stress relievers, take a break, feel good times.  It's not so much the eating of the food, though that is good stuff, but more the creation of the food.  It's something that I mostly won't mess up.  I will measure correctly, mix correctly and add a bit extra of this or that to add some more pizazz.  It is something I love to do alone or with my kids or with my husband. I love cooking with friends. I love cooking for friends, for family, for fun.  It

And this was a time I wasn't feeling it. Not feeling the juices or the writing or the desire to write, even.  And I have been wanting to write on the topic of food and cooking and loving old recipes.  But it wasn't in me.  And now I know I have started and hated what I started.  Or maybe it's just the beginning of a future piece.  Maybe one day I will come back and read this and separate it into individual sections and just go crazy with ideas. Or maybe I won't ever come back and read it, but it did feel good to start something.  So, don't rip up those "bad" pieces or throw them away or delete them.  Leave them, because when you try again, you will be so happy with what you finished and know you started from something.   So, maybe I'll just publish this and let any potential or wanna be writer know that who cares if you write something that doesn't rock.  Or doesn't speak to you.  It is still an attempt and that is what matters. 

 

Found here

Why I don't mind taking the trash out...

            Sometimes taking the trash out is a reprieve.  You know those times when you are so squished in your house and your mind and the kids are fighting.  And then you step outside.  And you close the door.  And it stops.  The sounds stop.  Yes, the fighting doesn’t stop.  But the noises stop.  And you are alone.  And you look outside and you own the outside.  The sun setting, the trees swaying, the smell of Iowa.  It might be humid or 100 degrees or zero degrees, but it is yours and it is just what you need.  The walk to the garbage can, just across the grass is beautiful.  The birds are singing and maybe there is a squirrel running here or there.  I really should come out just to savor the outside, not because I am going crazy inside!

            And I look up to the sky.  It stretches forever.  The Iowa sky never quits, even with the tall trees.  The horizon just doesn’t end.  I might even find a few outdoor tasks to do: stacking chairs, thowing away stray cups from the kids, picking up toys.  It doesn’t feel like work because it is quiet and because being outside is my sanctuary.  I was not meant to stay indoors.  Winter is long. I have learned to live with it and enjoy it even, but the love of nature is embedded in me.  It shapes me and calms me.  Calms me enough to return back to the house.  It was just a few minutes, but I return and I am ready to continue on.  The kids have worked through their issues and it is like the fighting never happened.  Nature is healing to me and I hope I always have a few trees and a large sky to keep me company.

Sidenote: I also found “happiness” in doing the laundry.  I know, I couldn’t believe it either!

 

The view from my back yard the other night

My Theme for 2015

I am not much of a New Year’s resolution person, like so many of you out there, but I am loving the idea of a theme.  For a few months.  I have been thinking of so many things I need to slow down on.  To take a breath and to savor life and to stop, if you will, spazzing out.  I don’t know when I became a “Captain Control Freak”, as Spencer fondly referred to me once.  It’s from the movie Hotel Transylvania and once he said it, I though he was crazy.  Then I thought of the things I always feel the need to be in control of and why.  When Hailey is cooking and I am thinking she is going to mess up and I am hovering.  But why does it matter if she messes up because we learn from mistakes.  When Brooke is in a panic over being late to preschool and I think I have taught her to be rushed, although if she doesn’t get moving, preschool will be over before she gets there!  When William is playing in the water in the sink and I stress about the mess later.  When Spencer is playing video games and I think, “He’s going to have no other interests in life.”  When Blake does the dishes differently than I do or cooks differently.  When did I become this person?

Was it after the third baby?  When I stopped tutoring so much and stayed home with the kids more?  When I wasn’t “drowning in babies” as I sometimes refer to life a few years back.  I used to say, “Who cares?” when there was a mess.  I used to not mind being a little tardy.  I used to not freak so much over the small things.   So, I want to remember and resurrect that person.  I want pieces of her to come back and integrate with the current me!  So, here Is my theme of 2014, “Peace, be still.”  A few months back, I was rocking William one night and being a bit frustrated because he wouldn’t go to sleep already.  After a long day, I needed some respite.  My mind was racing over all the things I needed to do, when I started to pray.  I was having a hard time feeling any peace.  Then the thought, “Peace, be still.” came to me.  And I thought, I need to be still more. I need to slow down the pace and my life.  Even with the family’s needs and my schedule, I need to learn to stop and savor the moments.  To stop feeling like I need to constantly be on the go.  Allow myself to pause during the day to write or read or hug or laugh or have a hot chocolate.  The house will always need cleaning.  The projects will always need doing.  But someday, my kids will be grown and the house will still need cleaning and the projects will still need doing.

Therefore, my focus this year is going to be to calm down.  I am even on the hunt for a printable that says, “Peace, be still.”  Along with my favorite scripture,”Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all the ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.”  Proverbs 3:5-6.  (found on this blog I just found and LOVE!)  This year will have some changes.  Changes that will need some guidance and some clear thinking.  It is hard to be clear thinking, when my head gets full of so many other thoughts of things that just don’t matter. I hope to be more calm, more relaxed and be able to pass it on to the rest of the family. I have said before that the mom has to set the mood of the family.  And sometimes it makes me crazy, but I hope that this will be something I don't mind setting so much. So, join me, if you haven’t made a theme or take mine on, because we could all use some stillness.

Found this printable on this blog, too

 

I have kept this song in my head whenever I am getting a little crazy.  It has always spoken to me, but especially the lines:
No waters can swallow the ship where lies
The Master of ocean and earth and skies

1. Master, the tempest is raging!
The billows are tossing high!
The sky is o’ershadowed with blackness.
No shelter or help is nigh.
Carest thou not that we perish?
How canst thou lie asleep
When each moment so madly is threat’ning
A grave in the angry deep?
(Chorus)
The winds and the waves shall obey thy will:
Peace, be still.
Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea
Or demons or men or whatever it be,
No waters can swallow the ship where lies
The Master of ocean and earth and skies.
They all shall sweetly obey thy will:
Peace, be still; peace, be still.
They all shall sweetly obey thy will:
Peace, peace, be still.
2. Master, with anguish of spirit
I bow in my grief today.
The depths of my sad heart are troubled.
Oh, waken and save, I pray!
Torrents of sin and of anguish
Sweep o’er my sinking soul,
And I perish! I perish! dear Master.
Oh, hasten and take control!
3. Master, the terror is over.
The elements sweetly rest.
Earth’s sun in the calm lake is mirrored,
And heaven’s within my breast.
Linger, O blessed Redeemer!
Leave me alone no more,
And with joy I shall make the blest harbor
And rest on the blissful shore.
Text: Mary Ann Baker, ca. 1831-1921.
Music: H. R. Palmer, 1834-1907
-History:
Written By: Mary Ann Baker
Music By: H. R. Palmer

Lights

                This has been a week.  A long and hard week as a 2 year old boy in our church passed away.  We were at his family’s house cleaning and helping out, when I looked out the window and noticed a man from church on the roof.  He was putting up Christmas lights on their house.  It touched my heart as I watched him.  It was freezing outside, probably ten degrees and he was out there willingly serving so the family could come home to some lights on their house.  After losing a light in their family so unexpectedly at this time of year that is supposed to be a time of cheer, lightheartedness and fun, they would be coming home to a bit of darkness.  But I wanted to think as they got home to their home, their sanctuary, their safe place, they would see the lights and be reminded of the light of Christ.  The baby who was born into this world to bring light.  A light that would never be dimmed or faded with the passage of time. 

Dear (five minute prompt)

Dear

When Blake and I first started dating, he called me “dear”.  It was almost a deal breaker because what 21 year old calls his girlfriend “dear”?  I always that was an old person term of endearment.  Each time he called me “dear”, I would inwardly cringe.  Finally, I got up the gumption to tell him that “dear” couldn’t be our word because it was old.  He was just find with it and we started calling each other “honey” instead.  (This is much before the new term “babe” had entered the endearment category.)  We have continued to call each other “honey” throughout the last 12.5 years of marriage.  I love the sweetness of that name.  It is just fun and light and sweet.  I would never want to switch, just like I would never want to switch him.  We are going to be marking our 13^th first date anniversary January 30^th.  Can’t believe it has been that long since we met and just fell in love at first sight pretty much.  It was so easy to skip the whole friend thing and go right to the dating/fiancée/marriage thing.  It was second nature.  We were married after knowing each other for six months.  Marrying Blake was the easiest thing I have ever done.  When you know, you know.  And I am so happy I knew.

Me and my love

 

Why we celebrate Jesus 2,014 years later

                I was teaching a song to a group of 30 children in church the other day when I had a thought.  A thought that I hoped would gather their attention and their thoughts on the importance of the birth of Jesus Christ.  I asked them how many years ago Jesus was born.  They told me “2,000 years!” excitedly.  Then I asked them if other people were born 2,000 years ago.  They said “Yes”.  Then I asked them why we don’t celebrate all those birthdays.  And I got some interesting responses.  “Because Jesus is so important.”  “Because he died for us.”  “Because he loves us.”  My last question to the kids was, ”Will we celebrate Him in 2,000 years, 4,000 years, forever.”  And they said we would. That we would truly celebrate Him forever.   It was a sweet experience.  Even now, it has me thinking of the greatest birthday party we hold every year.  In honor of a sweet baby, born in a stable.

                I know there are a lot of doubters out there.  People who don’t believe in God or Jesus or creation.  But I don’t have any doubt that there was a baby born.  A baby who would grow to be a child to a teenager to an adult.  That this person would be Jesus.  That he would live a life worthy of emulation.  The only life worthy of complete emulation.  That He would perform miracles, die for us, live for us, and provide teachings for us to live a perfect life or as perfect as we try. That he would stir up the world in such a way that 2,014 years later, there would still be controversy.  There would still be a great desire for people to find Jesus Christ and to make a spot for Him in their lives. 

                This time of year is sweet.  A sweet reminder of love.  Of the pure love of Christ, the One who would change lives and soften hearts.  Why do people feel so happy this time of year? Why do we reach out to others, donate money, donate time and feel the happiness we do?  It is because of Jesus Christ.  Because when we give, we are able to feel the joy of the One who has given us everything. He has given us a chance to change, to improve and to feel a perfect love from One who sacrificed His whole life for us.  And willingly.  My goal this year and every year is to make every day like Christmas. I know that's cheesy.  But I also know that every day we serve others brings us closer to Jesus Christ.  And that is one of the greatest gifts that we can receive.

More about what I believe