Saturday, July 13, 2013

Weeds in my Garden

I have been pulling weeds for an hour.  Noxious, thorny, spiny, everlasting weeds.  As I pulled, my back began to ache, my hands were getting tights and my face was grimacing.  Some of those weeds were stubborn and frustrating, growing under rocks and through the white fence.  The more weeds I pulled, the more weeds I found.  I thought I had pulled all the weeds to come back and find more.  One hidden under a spotted plant, one blending in with a tree, one pushing its way through the middle of the daffodils.  The weeds will find a way.  They will always push through. I thought, “Why all these weeds?  Why can’t we just have the flowers and plants that are so pleasing to the eye and comforting to the spirit?”  Now, I sit outside listening to the sounds of crickets, bullfrogs and cicadas, catching glimpses of lightening bugs, a real treasure of the MIdwest. I am enjoying the view of my garden and all the hard work it has taken to upkeep.  I start to have an understanding as to why we have weeds.
As I pulled, some thistles overtaking and intimidating, I discovered some plants with spotted leaves waiting to be found, hoping for a chance at life.  They just needed to be freed of those shadowing weeds.  They would never grow with their life source, water and sun, being absorbed by a bigger and stronger weed.  However, once the weed is uprooted, the dotted plant has a chance.  Yes, it might have to try harder to progress but it will progress.  It will have the chance to become what it wants to become.  
 The weeds sneak in, silently and suddenly and almost overnight,  they are ready to overtake and strangle the life out of the plants.  They grow quicker than have any right to.  They choke out the flowers and plants, but if I keep these weeds pulled they will not have the chance to regain ground.  The new plants can grow and flower and flourish.  The daffodils, lilies, tulips will then overtake the weeds.  Their beauty will shine forth over the mess of weeds and they will bring joy. What are the weeds in my life?  The habits and distractions that keep me from growth?  The deep rooted beasts overtaking my life?  Why would I let weeds enter into my life?  I don’t want them to take over my potential, causing slow growth or worse, no growth.
I learned a lot about weeds from Grandma Barb, when I first moved to Iowa.  She would spot a weed and I would say, “No, that’s not a weed, it has flowers.”  “It’s a weed.”, says Barb unapologetically.  “But it’s so pretty!  I love the yellow flowers”, I reply.  “Well, anything you don’t want in your garden is a weed.  That weed will take over and you won’t have any space for flowers.”  A weed will start out pretty at first, but a pretty, flowering weed is still a weed.  Things that might seem good in the beginning might not be good in the long run.  
I will spend time pulling weeds from my life.  I will not give them the chance to grow so large that they become nearly impossible to pull out.  I will not look at the weeds as bad, but as learning experiences that help me to grow. I will let the flowers achieve their full potential, my full potential.  And there will not be a weed polluting my garden.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Other Mothers (In order of appearance in my life)

Other Mothers (in order of appearance in my life)
(I haven’t nearly listed all of the “Mothers” in my life.  This will always be an incomplete work that I will add to when I get inspired.)


I believe we all have many mothers.  We have the mother that carried us a fetus and as an infant.  We have the mother who stands in for mother while we are away from home.  We have the friend who is a mother when we need someone to complain to or who will celebrate our victories.  We have the mother who is the rock in our lives on different occasions.  The mother who is related to us, the mother who is not.  The mother who married into the family and the mother you have only known for a few months.  We are all mothers and we can all be “other mothers”.


I have a mother.  Her name is Dora, DoraJean if you really know her.  She taught write in a journal for me at age three, so I could learn to love writing.  She taught go to storytime at the library to discover new places, new adventures, new stories to fall into.  She taught Sunday breakfasts, Mexican chicken casserole and Friday popcorn nights, air popped popcorn with two scoops of butter and plenty of salt.  She taught Gone with the Wind and North and South and that the book is always better than the movie.  She taught Michael Jackson music is for cleaning, Pink Floyd is for travelling and Kenneth Cope is for Sundays.  She taught love your husband and go on weekly date nights.  She taught rolls should always be homemade and Ghirardelli boxed brownies are the only way to go. She taught embarrassing your kids in the grocery store by singing along to the music and pushing all the buttons at the same time on the noisy kid’s toys while in Walmart.   She taught missionary work will change lives, especially your own.  She taught unwavering faith in Jesus Christ.  She taught practical, resilient and uncomplaining.  She taught be happy with what you have, be grateful for what you have.  She taught family comes first.
I have a mother.  Her name is Michelle.  She taught the most painful arm punches of my life.  She taught love your children and they will be your best friends.  She taught work on your hair and wear mascara and perfume, even if you are going to the grocery store.  She taught going through difficult times and coming out on top and with a positive attitude.  She taught patience with frustrating people and acceptance of unchanging people.  She taught surprise Krispy Kremes at the airport, detailed cupcakes and late nights working to help with the bills. She taught a care package in college with Campbell’s chicken corn chowder soup, still my favorite.  She taught a single mother is enough and that independence is a special quality. She taught family comes first.  
I have a mother.  Her name is Jenny, Jennifer to most.  She taught this is where all your Summer babysitting money goes when you squander it, by laying out all of my purchases on the floor.  She taught spur of the moment and spontaneity.  She taught Target is the better store.  She taught patience with trying children and be nice to yourself and that a cluttered counter is ok.  She taught confidence in who you are and who you can become.  She taught rescuing college students with $60 to their names by buying them groceries to last for months (E.L. Fudge cookies included).  She taught empathy.  She taught always meet up with family when you are in Las Vegas.  She taught supporting through texts and phone calls and constant encouragement.  She taught family comes first.
I have a mother.  Her name is Vicki.  She taught have enough food in the house so friends will come over and you can be involved in their lives.  She taught what is mine is yours.  She taught including your kid’s friends in family dinners and never making them feel awkward.  She taught feel beautiful at any time.  She taught generous.  She taught picking up right where you left off, even though you haven’t seen each other for years. She taught that family comes first.
I have a mother.  Her name is Lanae.  She taught homemade white bread, the softest and crustiest like Mother’s brand bread.  She taught come stay at my house for the weekend and get a respite from college woes and work.  She taught a laugh full of love and eyes twinkling with happiness.  She taught acceptance and understanding.  She taught support of a husband constantly involved in church, sports, activities.  She taught it is never too late to remodel your house.  She taught have a hobby and enjoy it, but don’t let it get in the way of your real goals.  She taught always help out and having trying children doesn’t make you a bad mother.  She taught family comes first.
I have a mother.  Her name is Candy.  She taught me late night grocery shopping with teenagers will always conclude with a dozen donuts.  She taught dollar store is sometimes better and don’t spend more money than you need to.  She taught makeover what you have and it can become new again.  She taught make enough food for an army because some nights you might be feeding one.  She taught hard work is its own reward.  She taught that listening is the way to get into your kids’ hearts.  She taught kids are in stages and will always be in a different stage and that is ok. She taught kid’s stages don’t last forever and someday those kids will be having kids.  She taught that praying is the answer to all problems and that God has a purpose for us all.  She taught projects will help maintain your sanity during hard times.  She taught late night help with teenager’s projets, homework, and do your best work.  She taught laundry should always be kept up on.  She taught shopping is therapeutic and mom needs some time alone too.  She taught family comes first.
I have a mother.  Her name is Heidi.  She taught life is for laughter, the kind of laughter that starts in your belly and bursts forth with a great gusto.  She taught provide Keebler products off of her husband’s delivery truck to poor college students, EL Fudge cookies if we were lucky!  She taught to love deeply and friends are family, no matter how long you have known the friends.  She taught homemade food equals love and love should always be shared.  She taught make Blake go home from work because he has been working way too many hours!  She taught that your babies will always be your babies, even when they have their own babies. She taught family comes first.
I have a mother.  Her name is Monica.  She taught snuggling with your kids even when the house isn’t picked up.  She taught laughter, kindness and service and that carbs heal most things.  She taught pick up the phone even if it is your sister-in-law calling to cry over her recent difficult move.  She taught sacrifice for family and travel far distances because it is the right thing.  She taught patience with sick kids, constantly working husbands, a late visa, tiny houses and not enough money.  She taught silly fun with kids and to document your memories in photos.  She taught family comes first.
I have a mother.  Her name is Laurie.  She taught Dr. Pepper, McDonald’s kid’s lunches so moms can talk about their sweet and naughty kids.  She taught keep moving forward after having a stillborn baby girl and you want to stay in bed all day, but you don’t.  She taught accomplishing tasks throughout the day with your children in tow, even to Walmart, the most painful store for me.  She taught a clean house is a way to maintain sanity.  She taught kids deserve fun times and fun birthday parties.  She taught empathy, a listening ear, and an honest (even brutally honest) opinion.  She taught kids don’t always need to be entertained by their moms.  She taught family comes first.
I have a mother.  Her name is Deb.  She taught perseverance through poor choices and stand up for yourself.  She taught surprise flowers, birthday gifts, birthday cards and just because.  She taught ask, “How are you”?  She taught tight hugs, love and a very surprise baby shower three days before you move to Iowa.  She taught be a good grandma.  She taught family comes first.
I have a mother.  Her name is Sarah, but she would rather be known as “older sister”.  She taught driving around to check out rentals for a stranger who lives far away and can’t do it for herself.  She taught serve others even though  you have Lupus and a lot of pain.  She taught that you push through obstacles and come out on top.  She taught bring a surprise Dr. Pepper and love a family with all their faults.  She taught be true to friends and true to family and real loyalty, no matter how “annoying” that might be!  She taught family comes first.

I have a mother. Her name is Barb, Grandma Barb to the kids.  She taught adopting neighbor kids as your own grandchildren, disciplining them as your own and loving them as your own.  She taught hard work, gardening even when it’s morbidly humid and patience with a husband with Alzheimer's.  She taught share opinions as a friend and an honest opinion, without prejudice.  She taught being a neighbor can be a best friend.  She taught relax and enjoy and sit on the swing out front to watch the sunset. She taught say “Hello” to everybody, even if they don’t say “Hello” back.  She taught family comes first.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

A lesson in yelling/forgiveness/unconditional love by: my friend, Jonelle

If you have a few moments, stop by my friend, Jonelle's blog and read her reflection on a bad morning turned into a good learning experience.  A lesson we all face in lives as mothers and people.  

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Three Dandelions and a Wind

I love this blog because it's a mish mash of my interests. I don't do it for publicity.  I do it because I like it!  Hence the irregularity of posts.  If anyone is still interested in what I have to say, then I hope you enjoy this piece I wrote tonight.  I rushed home as quick as I could to write about my experience because my writing muse (inspiration) was with me!

Three Dandelions and a Wind

I took the trash out the other day, not because it needed it, but because I needed it.  I needed a breather from the packing, crying and needing of me.  As I walked back to the house,I noticed a bunch of dandelions.  Dandelions are known as a weed in Iowa, but as a child, dandelions were considered the best summer’s prize.  A field of fresh and untouched dandelions would be the jackpot.  One blow and fluffy white tufts, soft as down, would explode forth and dance upon the wind.  
I felt like a child as I ripped one from its stem and blew with all my might.  The tufts danced magically upon the wind.  Flowing various directions, some being pushed down while others soared towards the golden sun.  Still others fought their way away from the ground to reach the sky and others got caught on a power box or a wire or a blade of grass.  Each journey different and each journey special.  The wind was their master and decider of their fate.  The tufts simply allowed the wind to guide them wherever they needed to be.  
After watching these tufts intently, I decided to go inside.  But wait, who can honestly resist a second dandelion?  I stooped down and grabbed another, a full dandelion that was not missing a tuft of white.  Full of promise and life.  I blew.  The tufts sank.  They fell to the ground in a sad and unpromising fashion.  I looked at the dandelion and wondered, “What changed?”  Then it hit me-the wind.  The wind had receded.  Not a puff of wind was available to push these tufts to their destinations.  Instead it had abandoned them and they were now rooted to the mound of mud my children had made with the water hose and some dirt.
I thought, “I should write about this”, but got busy with packing and life.  Tonight, after a run to the store, I could see the river glistening in the distance.  She was calling my name and reminding me that I would not be seeing her for much longer.  The thought made me sad.  I couldn’t resist. I sat on her grassy banks, noticing the rippling and continuous flowing of water, murky water, but still the MIssissippi has a powerful force and spirit.  Amazing and terrifying at the same time.
I noticed a dandelion and you must know the need to release those tufts. I blew.  The tufts did not respond. I blew again.  They stubbornly clung on unwilling or unable to let go.  No matter if there was wind or not, these tufts were never going to let go.  They were stagnant.  I pulled them off with my fingers and set them free. They fluttered down to the ground in an unappealing way.  I then threw the stem into the river where it laid lifelessly and began it’s journey downstream to an unknown fate.
I thought of these three dandelions and the winds of change that have come upon me recently and upon many in all walks of life.  The first dandelion willingly let go of its home and was eager to journey.  She didn’t know her direction, nor did she care.  She allowed to the wind to change her, ever pulling in different directions and enjoying the ride.  She accepted the wind.  The second dandelion, by no fault of her own, did not have any wind or driving force and fell to the ground, remaining dormant and sad.  Never to grow or progress but to lie.  The third dandelion would not let go, no matter how I tried and was then forced to let go, but received no real reward.  
These winds of change that have come my way over the past year have forced me to grow in many ways.  Many times, the wind has forced me low, down into dark and lonely places.  Many times, the wind has pushed me up into the brilliant sunlight, ever shining, ever pure.  Many times, the wind has let me float along and receive a respite from cares.  However, I have chosen to ride the wind, no matter my fate.  No matter the uncertainty of my future.  I would rather ride the wind then remain dormant and settle for the mud. I will choose the wind which will push me to grow and push me toward the sunlight.  The ever brilliant and life giving sunlight.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Hope Smiling Brightly

Wow, it is has been a good long while.  We are still alive and well here in Iowa.  I was awakened at 2 am by my 13 month old and haven't been able to fall back asleep!  In my desperation to get tired, I checked my email and found this amazing blog.  (I am kind of starting to get tired).  It is called Hope Smiling Brightly and is about grief.  This mother lost her two year old in a choking incident but has managed to rise above and help others in so many ways.  She is amazing and I am wishing I had found her a long time ago, so thank you 13 month old for waking me up so I could find this!  

She is also giving away a cruise, yes, a cruise! A family trip, really? So, I am blogging about this in the hopes of winning a trip to Ireland/Spain.  And you can too, just go here!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

St. Patrick's Day (or any day!) hair clips

Come to my etsy shop and check out some new hair clips and bands I made.  They were so fun to make.  I love them in my daughter's red hair!





Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Pause

I wrote this almost a year ago. I came across it today and was so happy I paused and wrote it down. Life is too short to skip the important moments. (Sorry about the weird formatting!)


I don’t ever want to forget this day. The sun is beaming, not a cloud in the
sky, shadows of swaying tree limbs cover our grass. The weather perfect, the
month , January. The smell of leaves and freshness wafting through the air. A jean
quilt laid out on the grass. A quilt I crafted with my own hands as part of my
Young Women’s project as a 16 year old. Created from overused and worn out
jeans of my dad, mom and siblings. It is worn, but not worn out, still hanging
onto threads of love after nearly 15 years.
A pancake picnic laid out, homemade pancakes, fluffy and thick, fresh and
warm, a special treat for lunch with cool whip. Not whipping cream, but ask
Spencer and Brooke if they mind and they won’t be able to answer because their
mouths are full of cool whip. Talk of today’s school activities. Spencer played
and shared bikes and didn’t cry when his turn was up. He sang “Dinosaur Boogy”.
He read books about animals. He played with Gustavo, Joseph and Ryan. He
spoke of a new girl and blushed. I asked him if she was pretty and he smiled.
Brooke told Spencer that we went to the store, watched Curious George and read
books.
So far, they have played on the slide, played puppies, played on the teeter
totter, played with shovels. They ask each other, “Are you ok?” when they fall
down. “Yes, I’m ok.” they respond in turn. They run to me excitedly when they
share with each other. They share in each other’s triumphs. They work as a
team. They giggle and laugh as only a four and two year old can. I wish I could
push the pause button or at least slow motion. I wish all of life could be this way:
unscheduled and unstructured. The weather has a calming and soothing effect,
lessens fighting, lessens crying, lessens feelings of frustration.
I am sitting on the blanket reading The Heretic’s Daughter, engrossed when
I suddenly think, “I don’t want to miss this. I want to remember this forever.” I
want to remember that on January 31st, 2012, winter, we were outside on an
unseasonably warm day listening to bird’s chirping, leaves waving on the trees,
the occasional car and Pandora randomly playing songs from Disney movies and
musicals. That life was quite simple and lazy for a few hours on a Tuesday in the
middle of winter.
As time passes, I will remember important occasions and milestones, but
will I remember these quiet moments of playing and peace? These small
moments that make up flecks of happiness. That these flecks of happiness
combine to make up the nuggets of life. These are the flecks worth
remembering. And as I sit here unsure of our future, if we’re moving, if I can
manage four kids, if my life will be calm. Suddenly, none of that matters. God

has blessed me with this beautiful day to have some peace and quiet and
reflection. That my life will continue on the path that He has planned for me.
That I will make the necessary choices in faith.
Suddenly, a bee flies into my face. He is persistent and we run indoors to
escape him. Spencer says, “He got all of his honey” and I am grateful for my
many blessings.

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