What Mama Did (5 minute prompt)

What Mama Did 3/18/14

We all have our mothering mistakes.  The ones we hide in the back of our closets and never share out of embarrassment or fear or regret.  Well, my secret is coming out.  It is going to come out so I can do better.  It had been a long day.  I was getting the kids in the car when I told Hailey to get her seatbelt on.  She was working on it and in her quiet five year old voice said, “Dammit”.  I stopped and told her, “We don’t say that.”  Sadly, I knew where she had learned it.  From me.  It is my word of choice when I am pregnant. I don’t know why pregnancy brings out the “dammits” in me, but it does.  I wish it didn’t. I wish I had hormonal control, but my head goes wild.  And I thought, “Look what I have taught my child.”  She had said it so calmly, like it was a normal thing to say.  I don’t think she even knew it was a bad word.  The fear of knowing that my kids watch everything I do and listen to everything I say (even when they don’t listen) is overwhelming.  Is my example good enough?  Am I a mess?  I know that I could do a lot worse than say the occasional swear word, but the eye opening experience that I had on that day was a wakeup call to me.  And one I won’t forget.