Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Turn (5 minute prompt)

I bought a picture this summer of a women looking off to the side, while Jesus is looking right at her. He is right beside her, but she doesn't see Him because she is looking away.  It seemed like a sad picture at first, because how many times do we do this?  Turn away when we should be turning toward Him! The one who can and does make all things better.  The one who helps without prejudice or repayment. 
As I looked at that painting, it reminded me of, well, me.  It reminded me of all the times I am trying so hard to do better or help the family better or be a better wife and mother and I look inwards.  Instead I should be looking to Him, the one who can truly make me better. The one who knows me so perfectly that He can improve me with just a mere question from me.  If I just turn my focus to Him, I will have peace. 
Sure, my questions might not be all answered. My situation might not improve.  My life won't become perfect.  But in looking to Him, I will find hope and happiness and an understanding.  An understanding of who I am and why I am here and what my purpose is.  I will be filled with peace.  And all I have to do is turn.
This isn't the picture I was talking about, but it is the way I want to be.  You can find more about what I believe here.

Blake, my hero

            I have been gone since last Thursday.  It is currently Wednesday.  I was supposed to be home last night, but ice and snow in Denver is delaying flights and I keep getting texts, “Your flight will leave at 130”, “Your flight will leave at 530.” They might as well say, “Your flight will leave never!”  But in the course of this craziness, I have had the chance to fall in love with my husband all over again from approximately 1,200sh miles away. 

            He has stayed with the kids on his own the whole time.  In the course of my time away, we have had three with the flu (one of them, Blake) and two with colds.  He has taken them on outings, to school, picked them up from school, went grocery shopping, did laundry, cleaned, did dishes, and even took all four kids to Hailey’s cheer practice, which starts at 7.  I mean, those days make me crazy!  But he has done all this with grace and with patience.  He has put me to shame almost!  I am thinking he is making my job look a little too easy!

            Blake has always been a great dad.  Fun and structured and nurturing. I used to joke with him about how he should be the stay at home mom and I should work, because he knows how to do it so much better!  So, in the midst of all this craziness, I called to let him know that I “might” come home today depending on flights.  Instead of freaking out, he just laughs and says, “That’s fine. I wasn’t feeling to well today anyway.”  What a guy!  He has shown stability and awesomeness throughout all of this uncertainty. 

            I have always wanted to be a bit calmer and relaxed.  I think that is why he and I make such a good match.  He knows when it’s time to chill out and take a break.  He knows it’s fine to have a movie day. He knows that every day doesn’t have to be productive to the last second.  He doesn’t sweat the small stuff with the kids.  He is a daily reminder to me to slow down and enjoy these moments.  I wanted to write this all down so I wouldn’t forget.

            And isn’t that why we write?  To have a chance to look back on old feelings and memories that have faded a bit with time.  To relive these precious moments that we might not ever have the chance again.  So, the next time I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed or annoyed, I can take a look at my husband as a parent and take on some of his characteristics instead of becoming more rigid.  And I will remember how much he sacrificed this week so that I could have a little break and hold some sweet fresh babies.  That he gave up a week of flex time to “relax” with the kids and take care of things at home.  So I will remember this all the time. 

            I love you, Blake!


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